Forgiveness

'to err is human, to forgive is divine' 

Forgiveness is a very powerful healing tool. When we forgive we are choosing to release the wounds which are continuing to hold power over us. When we hold onto old hurts, traumatic experiences or disappointments we continue to allow our unhealthy thought patterns or energy to control the way we live our lives and perceive people, places and occurrences.

Forgiveness can be a challenging process though when you consciously make the decision to release and let go there is a sense of freedom and lightness that takes place once we address and allow healing to occur. Pain, resentment and hurt which we may be holding over a long period may start to cripple us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When a traumatic experience or hurtful situation occurs we go through a number of emotional responses from shock to anger, fear and resentment and threading through these emotions is the underlying role of the victim. At first all these emotions and mental patterns may be justified and are normal human reactions to such events, though when these shocks or blocks remain and we never really move on from this, we carry this weight around with us like open wounds.  

Forgiveness allows us to move into freedom and provides us with the ability to self heal from that situation and raise our awareness to a higher perspective. Forgiveness is not a gift you give to someone else or a process that condones the actions of others, it is truly something that you do for yourself in order heal and to no longer be affected by that experience or person.

Caroline Myss describes to us her view of the act of forgiving in her book
Anatomy of the Spirit -
'the consequence of a genuine act of forgiveness borders on the miraculous. It may in my view, contain the energy that generates miracles themselves.' 

If you decide to go down the path of forgiveness you will need to be honest with yourself and truly ready to let go of your pain. There are some questions you may need to ask yourself to see if you are truly ready before you choose to forgive, such as:-
'Am I ready to stop blaming _Joe Blogs_for all my problems?'
'Am I ready to stop speaking of this person in a negative way?'
'Am I ready to stop playing the victim?'
'Do I need to have some sort of closure on a situation or with a particular person?'  
'Is this wound serving a purpose for me and am I willing to let that go?'

If you feel that there is unfinished business with someone, that maybe you need to express yourself or find some closure, it is best to do this before you embark on the forgiveness process. Some people may have buried resentment for many years not really ready to face what they had gone through and so this needs to be addressed first. Whether you seek counselling or simply writing a letter to that person regarding your feelings of the situation, though please be careful not to turn this into a 'blame game'. Try to express clearly about how that event made you feel and how you would like to move on from this.

Some people use their wounds to gain a sense of false power over people, for example, someone may have been in a serious accident which was caused by a friend or partner's who had been under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Maybe now that person is too afraid to get into a car and uses their victim role and guilt to make the friend or partner to constantly run errands for them - 'You did this to me and so now you have to pay.' If this person truly wants to step into forgiveness they also need to relinquish this false control and address why they are feeling like they need to play this role.

If you would like to start the forgiveness process you may be able to do this over a period of time as when you start addressing issues, sometimes you will start to become aware of deeper blocks and get a sense of core issues which you also may wish to address. Also if you feel you may need some support during your process please seek a professional to assist you with this such as a counsellor or energetic healer experienced in this practice. 

'Forgiveness of Other' Process

• Find a nice quiet place where you will not be disturbed.
• Set your room up by placing two chairs facing each other, one for you to sit on and the other to use as a visual for the other persons presence to sit on.
• Start by sitting in the chair and closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths.
• Allow yourself to become relaxed and to fall into a reflective state.
• It is now really important for you to feel completely safe and I want you to imagine yourself completely supported and protected by Higher Energies. This could be any Higher Energies in which you feel comfortable e.g. Angels, Archangel Michael, Buddha, Jesus etc... And remember when you call upon the person who you wish to address in this process you will be completely safe and they will not be able to harm you.
• When you are ready ask for the person's essence/spirit to be present (this does not mean that the person needs to be deceased for the process) and imagine that they are seated in the chair in front of you.
• Take a moment to become aware of how you feel with them there. Are you feeling anxious, angry or nervous. Where are you feeling this in your body?
• Next start to scan your body for any cordings with this person. Start from the top of your head and scan down. Cordings are energy interactions and there are healthy and unhealthy cordings you can have with people. You will have healthy supporting cordings with your loved ones though you may also have unhealthy cordings which may attach when you have connections to others if there is an imbalance of power.
• When you have finished with identifying where these energy cordings are attached keep them in your awareness for now and then build and connect a healthy cord of communication with them. This may come from your sacral chakra (just below your navel) to their sacral, throat chakra to their throat or where ever it feels comfortable for you and tie the cords together.
• When you are ready it will be time for you to state your grievances and this is to be done by saying these out loud. Once your thoughts and feelings have sound it takes on a greater energy and reality.
• Say the persons name and 'I have been holding resentment towards you for....' and then list all the things you feel you need to address.
• When this is completed say this again repeating all the things you had stated previously and any others that you may have forgotten. You may already start to feel that the words you are speaking are starting to have less or more emotion behind them... shifting the energy.
• Then as hard as it may be, try and see from your other persons point of view and state why they may have resented you. This may be harder than you realise depending on your situation, though once you start you may get a sense as to the way they felt about the situation.
• Once you have finished listing their resentments, imagine you are seeing the whole situation from a Higher Energies view point, from the eyes of Divine Love and Compassion. You may wish to imagine yourself standing with the Higher Energies you called in for support.
• You may now have a different perspective on this situation and now start to come back from this higher perspective and back down to your body. Notice any changes in your body and if you are ready it is time to now release.
• Say the persons name out loud and state 'The resentment I hold against you I now lovingly release into the light to be dealt with. I love and forgive you' 
• Then take an imaginary pair of scissors and cut any and all cordings you have with person and imagine the cordings being placed into a column of white light.
• If you have an ongoing relationship with this person and wish to maintain or build a healthy relationship with this person you may wish to sending loving healing from your heart chakra to theirs, if not proceed to the next step.
• Ask now for massive golden light to shine down on yourself and your other person and when you are ready let that person go and send them on with gratitude for the opportunity you had to heal.
• You may wish to stay in this golden light for a while though when you are ready bring your attention to your breath and start to stretch and bring yourself back to the room and open your eyes.
• Thank your guides or Higher Energies the process is now complete.
• Make sure you drink water and eat some food to assist you in grounding and cleansing.

There is one person we haven't yet touched on upon in this process and that is you and the practice of self forgiveness. If we carry around with us a situation or many that we feel we have been irresponsible, abusive, or resentful of how we dealt with a situation, we carry with us guilt. You may then start to emotionally beat yourself up over situations and label yourself with negative tags such as idiot, stupid, dumb, worthless etc.. It may also start to form into more serious self abuse such as self harm or addiction. Therefore when you choose to start on the forgiveness path you also really need to consider how you feel about forgiving yourself and the need to release these blocks to truly move into happiness.

Forgiveness of Self Process
please read the previous process for explanations of practices

• Start the same way as the Forgiveness of Others Process though instead of calling on the essence of another person, call upon the person you once were. Bring forth the person who you were at the time of your issue or event. Try and imagine the clothes that you may have been wearing, your hairstyle etc.
• Take a moment to become aware of how you feel about who you were then. Are you feeling  angry at yourself or upset? Where are you feeling this in your body? Are you saying to yourself  'If only I had...' 
• Next start to scan your body for any cordings or attachments you may still have with yourself or this event. 
• When you have finished with identifying where these energy cordings are attached keep them in your awareness for now and then build and connect a healthy cord of communication with your past self.
• When you are ready it will be time for you to state your grievances, saying these out loud. Try and state things that you are now angry with yourself over, what expectations you had of yourself and why you do not accept the person you once were.
• Say out loud 'I have been holding resentment towards you for....' and then list all the things you feel you need to address.
• When this is completed say this again repeating all the things you had stated previously and any others that you may have forgotten. You may already start to feel that the words you are speaking are starting to have less or more emotion behind them... shifting the energy.
• Then place your self into your younger self's situation. Try and be aware that this younger version of you had less experience than the person you are now, less support or maybe other issues that were affecting you in a detrimental and unhealthy way. Remember the hopes and dreams that you had then.
• State the resentments that you may have had in that time, out loud.
• Once you have finished listing the resentments, imagine you are seeing the whole situation from a Higher Energies view point, from the eyes of Divine Love and Compassion. You may wish to imagine yourself standing with the Higher Energies you called in for support.
• You may now have a different perspective on this situation. You may recognise the Divine plan and learning's you received through this situation, you may recognise that you are a stronger person than you were before and you may recognise pressures that you may have faced in those times that lead you to doing the things in which you have regretted.
• And now it is time to start to come back from this higher perspective and back down to your body. Notice any changes in your body and if you are ready it is time to now release. 
• Say to your past self and state 'The resentment and expectations I hold against you I now lovingly release into the light and I now let go of any conditions or demands I may have placed on you. I love and forgive you and accept the person for who you were then and now' 
• Then take an imaginary pair of scissors and cut any unhealthy cordings you may have had with yourself and imagine the cordings being placed into a column of white light.
• Now that you have forgiven yourself for this situation send loving healing or golden energy from your heart chakra to your younger self's heart chakra. Sit with this until both your present self and younger self are giving and receiving love to and from each other. 
• Ask now for massive golden light to shine down on yourself and your past self and when you are ready let that person go, send them on with gratitude for the opportunity you had to heal.
• You may wish to stay in this golden light for a while though when you are ready bring your attention to your breath and start to stretch and bring yourself back to the room and open your eyes.
• Thank your guides or Higher Energies the process is now complete.
• Again make sure you drink water and eat some food to assist you in grounding and cleansing.

Tools that may assist in the Forgiveness Process

Crystals can be worn or used in the room during the Forgiveness process or for a period of time to assist in releasing.
Flower essences maybe taken as a one-off during the cutting of the cords or taken as a remedy for a period of time.

Crystals

For Forgiveness of Others

• Chrysoberyl - it assists in new beginnings and helps with bringing in love and compassion to any situation.
• Pink Calcite - aligns our awareness to that of unconditional love and assists with releasing fears in order for forgiveness to occur.
• Chyrophrase - promotes flexibility and letting go of prejudices, opening us up to forgiveness and compassion. 
• Rutilated Quartz - it assists the user in letting go of past fears and moving forward onto one's own spiritual path
• Rhodonite - brings about the ability of seeing both sides of the situation and stimulates the heart chakra.
• Topaz - sheds light on situations and events and assists in clearing and bringing in truth and forgiveness.

For Forgiveness of Self

• Okenite - is a stone of bringing an awareness to your karmic patterns and promotes a feeling of deep forgiveness of self and completion of these karmic patterns.
• Peridot - is a great supporter of bringing an awareness to past actions allows us to find the gift in our mistakes making way for forgiveness
• Rose Quartz - the crystal of love and compassion. This eases the flow of love for self and others and assists in bringing to the surface a sense of self acceptance and self worth.
• Infinite Stone (serpentine light green)- is similar to okenite in the sense that it works with past life issues. it also assists in the forgiveness process by easing resolutions from the past and opening the lines of calm expression.
• Sugilite - supports during times of 'facing up to matters' and alleviates fear.

Flower Essences

For Forgiveness of Others

• Dagger Hakea - this remedy is the forgiveness essence. It assists with coming to terms with resentment and bitterness usually directed towards loved ones.
• Mountain Devil - assists in alleviating hate and jealousy towards others in general and helps with accepting love and compassion for self and others.
• Bottlebrush - assists in releasing and letting go of emotions and old hurts

For Forgiveness of Self

• Sturt Desert Rose - assists in releasing any and all guilt about past actions and assists in building up self esteem.

written by
Renee Longworth
the healing circle